Even though I'd been seeing Chris* a few times, a woman's gotta hedge her bets, amiright? So without further ado, I got my a$$ back on Tinder™. I was scrollin' through my options one fine evening whilst lying in bed - lala lala la - and I came across this one guy on there whose first picture was of him faux-cowering on the floor while a person in a polar bear suit "attacked" him. Now, I don't know if you ever do this, but on the iPhone you can invert the colours so that you can look at your phone before you go to sleep without your brain getting wound up by the stimulating LED screen #Science. Anyway, I had my phone on "inverted colours" mode (which I realise kind of defeats the purpose of creeping Tinder™ dudes cuz they all look like faceless ghouls - BUT WHATEVER) and when I encountered Polar Bear Guy, I was like OHMYGOD. The polar bear costume was inverted in its colours, and of course polar bears are white, thus the inverse of that would be black. So towering over Tinder™ dude was this giant, black-as-night, demon-looking bear. Well, my natural inclination was: "I must tell him this"! "He needs to know that this polar bear looks like a demon-bear"! No, I was not high. I do not smoke, thank you very much.So, what do I do? I send him a message of course, saying the following: "Btw, if you invert your colours on your phone, your picture looks like you're being attacked by a demon-bear". To his credit, he wasn't even weirded out. He was like "oh really"? To which I replied that he should give me his number so I could send him the inverted screen-shotted picture. I don't know why, I just really had a hankering to show him this photo that I thought was so hilarious. Anyway, he gives me his number, I screen shot the pic on my 'inverted-coloured' phone... and then proceed to send it to him. To which he responds: "Uh. That's my same picture".Turns out when you screenshot an inverted picture, it just goes back to normal!You can imagine how awkward I felt. I was like "uhhhh.... oops....." while he probably laughed to himself and thought "Wow, what a clever ploy this woman has to get my number"! (Even though that's TOTALLY not what I was aimin' for!)Long story short, my awkward-as-balls screw-up made us start chatting, and before you know it, he had asked me out for dinner. I accepted, and within a couple days went to meet him at this hipster-pub (yes, these exist) down the street from my house. He was waiting outside for me, and as I approached, I kind of judged his outfit in my mind. Okay, so it was effing freezing outside, but he was wearing this ankle-length, black, slick trench coat. I was a bit nervous that he was going to bust it wide open and start streaking down the street. But, that didn't end up happening. *phew*Instead, we went inside, pushing past a buttload of people who had also had the same idea to come here on a Friday night. He promptly groaned, and said "Oh no". Now, that's never a thing you wanna hear from your first date. Ever. Only bad things can happen after that phrase.So, Polar Bear worked at an investment banking firm, and apparently, all of his coworkers were at the same pub that we were at, which he I guess just realised. While he was on a Tinder™date (with a hottie tottie), they were getting sloshed from after-work drinks (I personally think Polar Bear was winning in this here scenario, but you make up your mind). After a round of introductions and polite "Hellos", we sat at our table and began our date. The food was tasty, the conversation was decent, and the bottle of red was workin' its magic (so much so that I probably even would have been okay with him doing a striptease for me in his black flasher-coat).Midway through this unforgettable dining experience, Polar Bear starts cracking up across the table from me. I quickly run the back of my hand across my mouth, hoping some of the crusty Steak n' Ale pie that I was chowin' down on wasn't all over my face... He keeps laughing. So I ask him: "Uhhhh.... What's so funny"?To which he points behind me. So of course I have to look. I swivel around in my chair, only to be greeted by two shirtless guys about 2 feet away from me, rubbing their hairy nipples and cackling about something or another. A sudden realisation dawns on me... Oh god, these are some of his investment banking coworkers. Who are now basically naked. In a pub. That I'm also at. Talk about bad manners! Harrumph. But, the nipple-rubbing and all around shirtlessness doesn't stop there. Before you know it, these two dudes decide to come over to our table and ask me my name, what I'm doing with Polar Bear etc. I smile and answer their questions, and am my usual charming self. And then, the best line of all, right before they saunter away: "He has a huge cock". Mm. Right-o. Good to know. Thank you. Because that's always what you want to hear from a 30-year-old guy's coworkers (who are about 20 years older than him, mind you). While I didn't see Polar Bear again (it just didn't work out - but I think he's found someone now!), I must extend a huge thank you to you shirtless-old-men-investment-bankers, you really made my night so magical. Also, I'm impressed with you for not getting kicked out of the pub! Cheerio!,Tinderella xxxxx

Even though I'd been seeing Chris* a few times, a woman's gotta hedge her bets, amiright? So without further ado, I got my a$$ back on Tinder™. 

I was scrollin' through my options one fine evening whilst lying in bed - lala lala la - and I came across this one guy on there whose first picture was of him faux-cowering on the floor while a person in a polar bear suit "attacked" him. 

Now, I don't know if you ever do this, but on the iPhone you can invert the colours so that you can look at your phone before you go to sleep without your brain getting wound up by the stimulating LED screen #Science. 

Anyway, I had my phone on "inverted colours" mode (which I realise kind of defeats the purpose of creeping Tinder™ dudes cuz they all look like faceless ghouls - BUT WHATEVER) and when I encountered Polar Bear Guy, I was like OHMYGOD. The polar bear costume was inverted in its colours, and of course polar bears are white, thus the inverse of that would be black. 

So towering over Tinder™ dude was this giant, black-as-night, demon-looking bear. 

Well, my natural inclination was: "I must tell him this"! "He needs to know that this polar bear looks like a demon-bear"! 

No, I was not high. 

I do not smoke, thank you very much.

So, what do I do? I send him a message of course, saying the following: "Btw, if you invert your colours on your phone, your picture looks like you're being attacked by a demon-bear". 

To his credit, he wasn't even weirded out. He was like "oh really"? To which I replied that he should give me his number so I could send him the inverted screen-shotted picture. I don't know why, I just really had a hankering to show him this photo that I thought was so hilarious. 

Anyway, he gives me his number, I screen shot the pic on my 'inverted-coloured' phone... and then proceed to send it to him. 

To which he responds: "Uh. That's my same picture".

Turns out when you screenshot an inverted picture, it just goes back to normal!

You can imagine how awkward I felt. I was like "uhhhh.... oops....." while he probably laughed to himself and thought "Wow, what a clever ploy this woman has to get my number"! (Even though that's TOTALLY not what I was aimin' for!)

Long story short, my awkward-as-balls screw-up made us start chatting, and before you know it, he had asked me out for dinner. 

I accepted, and within a couple days went to meet him at this hipster-pub (yes, these exist) down the street from my house. He was waiting outside for me, and as I approached, I kind of judged his outfit in my mind. 

Okay, so it was effing freezing outside, but he was wearing this ankle-length, black, slick trench coat. I was a bit nervous that he was going to bust it wide open and start streaking down the street. 

But, that didn't end up happening. *phew*

Instead, we went inside, pushing past a buttload of people who had also had the same idea to come here on a Friday night. 

He promptly groaned, and said "Oh no". 

Now, that's never a thing you wanna hear from your first date. Ever. Only bad things can happen after that phrase.

So, Polar Bear worked at an investment banking firm, and apparently, all of his coworkers were at the same pub that we were at, which he I guess just realised. While he was on a Tinder™date (with a hottie tottie), they were getting sloshed from after-work drinks (I personally think Polar Bear was winning in this here scenario, but you make up your mind). 

After a round of introductions and polite "Hellos", we sat at our table and began our date. The food was tasty, the conversation was decent, and the bottle of red was workin' its magic (so much so that I probably even would have been okay with him doing a striptease for me in his black flasher-coat).

Midway through this unforgettable dining experience, Polar Bear starts cracking up across the table from me. I quickly run the back of my hand across my mouth, hoping some of the crusty Steak n' Ale pie that I was chowin' down on wasn't all over my face... 

He keeps laughing. 

So I ask him: "Uhhhh.... What's so funny"?

To which he points behind me. So of course I have to look. 

I swivel around in my chair, only to be greeted by two shirtless guys about 2 feet away from me, rubbing their hairy nipples and cackling about something or another. 

A sudden realisation dawns on me... Oh god, these are some of his investment banking coworkers. Who are now basically naked. In a pub. That I'm also at. 

Talk about bad manners! Harrumph. 

But, the nipple-rubbing and all around shirtlessness doesn't stop there. Before you know it, these two dudes decide to come over to our table and ask me my name, what I'm doing with Polar Bear etc. 

I smile and answer their questions, and am my usual charming self. 

And then, the best line of all, right before they saunter away: "He has a huge cock". 

Mm. Right-o. Good to know. Thank you. Because that's always what you want to hear from a 30-year-old guy's coworkers (who are about 20 years older than him, mind you). 

While I didn't see Polar Bear again (it just didn't work out - but I think he's found someone now!), I must extend a huge thank you to you shirtless-old-men-investment-bankers, you really made my night so magical. 

Also, I'm impressed with you for not getting kicked out of the pub! 

Cheerio!,

Tinderella xxxxx